La Capra

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Posts by La Capra

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  27

  im stuck on guitar

  by tsunami_rid3r in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im trying to learn stairway to heaven but its too hard, what should i do?

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  La Capra

  Are you learning it by ear, or from a chart?
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  7

  great night

  by tsunami_rid3r in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wow this is like a blog now.. .

  sum it up.

  late for a friends show.

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  La Capra

  If she says she can't on Friday, then ask if she wants to do something else some other time, if she says yes, ask her when.

  If she doesn't want to go out with you, she'll either say no, or you won't be able to pin her down. If that's the case, move on.

  If you ask her out, then you should have some idea of what to do. (If all else fails, movie and coffee and dessert.)

  And yeah, wait a few days between phone calls, there's no rush. It's not like you have a wedding to plan, or anything.

  Shoshana
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  126

  My wifes struggle

  by gringojj in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi friends.

  well its seems my wife has hit a standstill with the dubs.

  some of you may know my situation, but i guess its all relative anyway.

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  La Capra

  But she is so scared that she may be wrong and what if she is?

  This struck a chord with me. I was in a college seminar with about a dozen other students about a year and a half after I DA'ed. One of the other students had been raised in a similar way in LDS as I had been in WTBTS. In discussion of personal religious practices, she and I told similar difficult stories of how hard it was to make the personal decision to exit from what we considered to be mind control cults. Not to allowed to get away with rash generalizations about anything, we were equally challenged about why it was so hard when we had so much evidence of their mistakes, errors, etc.

  Without looking at each other, we answered the same way, almost in unison, to the point that it was eerie, "What if we're wrong and they really are right?"

  Hearing it from someone else who had been told the same thing by a group that taught a completely different doctrine (and followed by a hell of a lot more people, btw) helped me to see that my mindset-similar to your wife's-was easily debunked.

  A chance meeting of my classmate a time later confirmed that she had similar reaction to our chorus.

  So MANY religions say they really are the only path to salvation, and that not following THEM means sure destruction (hellfire, whatever.) Why would it be the JWs that would be right? Why them?

  If we will really know them by their love, then no one would say to your wife,

  she is not going to do the rest of the study unless my wife makes the meetings,

  and if they really are right, they wouldn't say, (from Goldminer's post)

  if I didn't have the truth in my heart it didn't matter what they gave as answers,

  when asked tough questions.

  The JWs claim to prove themselves by being able to back all they believe from the Bible, but when asked to do so and held accountable for it, will run away.

  The book Crisis of Conscience is good (I read it after I decided to leave). But If you wife was never baptized, and left home at 17, it is likely that there is a lot of missing "knowledge" about the religion in her personal memories. Is it possible she is responding to the feelings of urgency, fear of armageddon and the hope of everlasting life on earth and resurrection she remembers from her childhood, rather than concrete belief in what the book she and the JW woman finished? You probably could find dozens of misquoted or misrepresented scriptures just in the first chapter of that book -- just read five verses before and after each quoted scripture to see. This may help ease her fears about the doomsday prophecies of this cult.

  Hang in there, your wife sounds sincere about doing the right thing, but also seems to be struggling with some deep rooted past history. Shoshana
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  29

  A Letter To Grocery Store Owners Nationwide.

  by RichieRich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear mr. grocery store owner, .

  in an ongoing effort to maintain a somewhat mutually beneficial relationship, i will agree to return shopping carts to their proper place, on the agreement that you will satisfy two of these requests: .

  1. air condition the parking lot.

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  La Capra

  OK, I admit it, I'm lazy.

  I hate grocery shopping. When I discovered that Safeway delivered (www.safeway.com), I jumped right on board so fast. They don't make me find a shopping cart, wander up and down the aisles finding things, they pick out better produce and meat than I ever can, they separate things very well when they bag them, they load up the car, they drive it home, and they bring it to my kitchen table. All for about ten bucks (6 pounds) extra. (Gas and time more than makes up for it.)

  I went to the market in Maryland with my cousin once, they won't let you take the cart off the walk in front of the store. You have to leave your purchases then drive up to the front walk and load your car. I felt like such a hick when the cashier announced our cart number as we paid for our groceries. My cousin was surprised I had never seen cart control. Anyone in California ever see cart control here?

  Shoshana
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  32

  Torture at DC

  by zack in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a thought worth mentioning about the venue i attended was the lack of sufficient sanitary facilties.

  attendance on sunday was almost 10k.

  of these, half were males.

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  La Capra

  Elsewhere,

  Sometimes there are long lines. But here's the thing, a game or a concert will last at most 4 or 5 hours. I try to plan ahead so that I only have to go once, if at all. But those conventions last all day, and there are lots and lots more children (who need to go every 2 hours or so), and more often than not, their mothers take them. Also, if you still go, check it out, there really are a lot more women at these conventions than men. For other events, particularly sporting events (which is often for what the facilities are predominantly designed), there is a different balance of the genders.

  But out and about, like at restaurants, if there is a wait, it is only for the women's room. It is the worst at the symphony, or theater, where the intermission is only 15 minutes, there are only about a dozen toilets and about 25% of the women in attendance need to go.

  What I remember is the awful smell at the conventions. I have been to these same venues many times for concerts or games and the restrooms never had that awful smell that was pervasive at conventions. Blech. Shoshana
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  20

  Paying for the pioneer

  by Thegoodgirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys, let me get your opinion on this:.

  my mom's a pioneer, so she scrapes by on little money, refuses to work overtime, and tries to even survive on part time entry level work.

  she can survive, but when it comes to getting appliances fixed, going on vacation, buying new clothes, she has to rely on others gifts and donations to her.. i want her to come visit me, and i need to pay for her ticket.

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  La Capra

  Why don't you go see her? You pay for your travel, she pays for hers. I always go to my parents to visit, I never make them come to me. Shoshana
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  38

  I think its sad

  by Alexander in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i wouldn't be here wasn't it for a link on google on the moscow ban that led me here.

  i am shocked by the hatred many of you display in your posts.

  some claim that we break up marriages, yet some of the happiest couples i know are faithfull brothers and sisters.

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  La Capra

  Some claim that we break up marriages, yet some of the happiest couples i know are faithfull brothers and sisters. Some claim we break up marriages, yet brothers and sisters in divided households are encouraged to be good and loving husbands and wives.A

  And do you actually know many non witness couples very well to compare to? If so then you have baaaaad association...Bad witness, bad bad witness...

  Either you don't know what you are talking about, or you aren't a loyal JW. Which is it?

  Shoshana
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  43

  Would you help a dub?

  by greendawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if a dub needed your help as in a medical emergency or in getting employment/job contract or in getting your support in a dispute with someone on a non religious issue or in some other way such as in a car break down would you help them?

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  La Capra

  I would help a JW to the extent I would help anyone else. But I wouldn't lie or misrepresent facts on one's behalf.

  In general, if I do not trust a person's honesty, I would not pull strings, grease wheels or make "beneficial introductions" for them. Also, as a general rule, I do not find JWs to be honest. Whenever one comes to my door I test it, and get them to say things I know they know are not true, because they think it's what I want to hear (I got one to say that the WTBTS is active and financially supportive of domestic abuse victims, to the extent that the WTBTS would shelter and hide them from their abusers-a personal favorite of mine).

  I could never vouch for a JW's veracity, not even my own mother's, and as such I would not want to risk my reputation for one.
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  25

  How can a female go out with a bang?

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my friend told me that she knows of someone who wants to make a grand exit.

  it's just a matter of time before she is df'd.

  because she is on reproof and well has a vagina she cannot announce her da from the stage.

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  La Capra

  I have always thought having a tailgate party near the entrance of the KH would have been fun. Perhaps she could decorate her car, like wedding cars, saying "Just Freed." If she has lots of apostofriends, they can join her in the hall that evening, dressed to the nines, cheer after the announcement, then depart together with a celebratory air. (Did I hear some champagne being uncorked?) Mazel tov to your friend. Shoshana
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  14

  clubbing

  by tsunami_rid3r in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what do i do when a girl invites me to go clubbing with her friends?

  i dont want to come off as desperate

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  La Capra

  You put on clean jeans, a cool shirt and shoes, spiff up your hair and be prepared to drive this "girl and her friends" to various music/dance venues. At these venues you can either dance or stand around looking cool (and meeting other young people, get names and phone numbers if you fancy anyone). Do you know if you were invited because they don't have anyone else to drive them? Check into it, so you won't be disappointed later. But go, you might meet someone else. Shoshana